Thursday, 21 June 2012

Blink............ six months gone!

It's been far too long between posts again. I've missed this blog my self council.  I have tons of notes but like the stacks of un-read books and the piles of unfilled paperwork, the bags of un sorted clothes and the un scrubbed windows they've been sitting way down un-done on the never ending to do list.

It feels like I've blinked and then six months have gone, it's only as I sit here and look back over the various notes I have made I realise how much happens in a blink.

So as I reflect I will try in this post to play catch up with big the small and all the little significant nothings that happened in between.

The year was started in the best possible way sharing Champagne given to us on either Molly's birth our wedding or Max's arrival (no way of knowing which as has been gathering dust in the cellar ) with friends to toast in 2012.

 Max and Mia safely tucked up in bed with a watchful Nanny on duty x Molly with us to enjoy the party with her BFF. 

Mia's bottle of pink champagne having already been consumed on Christmas day with family in our home Mia's first Christmas and our first as hosts for festive dinner.!

Then the year had begun!

Max started preschool, the wrench made so much easier not only by the fact I know the preschool and how loving and enriching an environment it provides, Molly having gone there when she was small, but a good friend is involved with the setting, the sense of gratitude and appreciation for how lucky I am to have that trust and knowing for certain that some one is on our side (as I am sure she is for every one of the little ones entrusted to her and the care of the pre-school) is immeasurable.

Leaving him, saying goodbye he looked at me, thought for a second then nodded as if to say 'yep mum that's ok' and then waved.  I stayed to watch awhile but he didn't need me, it physically hurt though! He was there and I was not, he was having to face the world, make it his own and all I wanted to do was keep him with me where he was happy, content, no one to hurt or upset him and where I could make anything better!

I was and am encouraged by his confidence but fearful of letting go and allowing him the chance to learn to communicate with others with out me there, his mum who knows him best ( not to mention all the training and strategies I've taken on board) translating for him, reading his moods and body language, heading off the frustrations of not being understood!  He needs to find his own way of dealing with those things.

He is absolutely thriving!  I had initial wobbles of worry wondering if I was pushing him to hard too young because it suited me to have a morning or too a week to dedicate to the baby? He soon proved those worries needless.  He loves it and has come on so far so fast, he has made an impact already, we can't make the walk for Molly's school run with out at least half a dozen yells of 'there's Max.... HI MAXXXXX'  and there is a constant flow of masterpiece artwork coming home. HE AMAZES ME EVERY DAY

There has been time out for me over recent months, time to recharge the wife and Vicki in me (as opposed to Mum) Nights out as a couple and PJ parties with the girls.  Time spent as 20 years old again having a meal and a glass or two of wine with my old roooooomy.  Even managing to keep up with an old friend out for the first time together just us since probably before Molly was born, lasting til 4am would you even believe it?? ha ha After which each time tucking her back away again refreshed ready and raring to tackle the weeks filled with medical and therapy appointments, teething therefore sleepless nights, nagging of big girls to piano practise / homework / reading etc, all the ferrying about to school / preschool / musical monkeys / drama and playdates.  Not to mention all things daily and domestic like shopping , washing, cooking, dog walking and hoovering ;-) Listening and so supporting hardworking daddy when he comes home tired and sometimes stressed from long days at work.  Then comes the time again to take 'Vicki' back out of her box for a friday night book club 'aherm' with the girls. x

There have been some days where it has felt like all I'm doing is chasing my tail, the never ending battle clearing the junk on the table, picking up discarded lunch, wiping continuously running noses, hoovering forever hairy floors and it goes on and on and on.  The effort involved in just getting out of the door with enough nappies / snacks / drinks / relevant PE kits , hats, scarfs etc etc.  This sounds like I.m complaining and I'm really not just some days it all feels up hill and fewer days too steep a hill leaving me exhausted and out of breath.

There has been that thing perspective slapping me in the face again too.  A day I was stressing out after bumping into an old school colleague, one of those people you want to see you at your most in control looking fresh faced fashionable and yummy mummy, rather then the red coldified dripping nosed makeupless silly hat wearing harassed looking mother of moaning tired worked up children muttering about an urgent need to get to the opticians and desperately showing the broken glasses in a plee for understanding for the 'bad moment'.  As if this person is ever going to understand.  To then arrive home to news of a member of our extended family facing real worries and a fight for their good health!  Who cares about what one random person from my past thinks of me! I have a wonderful family and plenty of friends who love me more for my 'less together' moments! I AM LUCKY and the news of illness in the family helped me quickly realise the insignificance of that moment.

This is turning into a monster post isn't it but there is so  much more !

Hen do's with personal appearance's by the "spice girls"

Yes not so Sporty is me!

The Hen's actual much anticipated big day!  Where two amazing people who have already been in love and each others best friend and companion for more then 20 years  said 'I DO' and in front of all their friends and families promised to continue to make each others happiness their priority forever xxxxx

and then we partied!!!

As our littlest miracle fast approached her first birthday my brave husband put what was best for us in front of his own self preservation and drew a permanent line under our family xx

Our home was filled with family and friends again.  All to celebrate little Mia Mouses 1st birthday !  I found this milestone so hard as my last baby races so fast away from her babydom.  I find my self again wishing so hard to freeze time while at the same moment feeling so much pride in how beautiful she's growing up and how clever x

Our biggest girl made that first big leap of Independence and had her first overnight school trip, she ate loads won third prize in the best dressed teddy completion and came home thoroughly exhausted and full of stories about amazing rooms with bunk beds and fancy square radiators ideal for hanging towels on :-)

The last few months have brought us new friends who are in a position to actually understand rather then just empathise with some of the unique challenges family life with an extra chromosome can bring but also strengthened bonds with old friends too.
They've brought challenges but more often reasons to feel blessed and I do, even at my most exhausted or low I am never feeling un happy.  I am at my core content and loving my life at the moment and for that I  am thankful.

Every time I blink I live a lifetime xxxxx