Thursday, 13 October 2011

Living vs Coping

It has been a rich summer for me, filled with picnics on the few sunny days where big girls get to master their bike riding skills and little boys enjoy some freedom from the buggy,

 while baby girls get that all important sleep time in the shade.
Birthdays where again we are surrounded by friends all putting themselves out to celebrate another year of a special little boys achievements and more importantly eat cake.
 Rainy holidays, where Mia Rose is introduced to more of the family and smothered in love,
 Molly gets to bond some more with cousins over a DS game or two
 and Max can show off his hiding skills. 
Milestones met again and again, preparing Molly for that big step up to junior school! she is growing up so fast is scares me!

 Mia, smiling, rolling, bouncing and just turning into a little person already too soon no longer a tiny baby. 
 The big one is that Max is increasingly mobile and on his feet,  he began taking steps around his birthday but for a few weeks was still opting to drop to his rear and shuffle (at speed I grant you) however in the last few weeks he is choosing to walk, even attempting to run as his first method of getting about and when he stumbles not reverting to his old half crawl half bottom hop but getting back up and continuing on his way with shouts of excitement.  This picture is of him hot footing it off with his little sisters hat which he took a fancy to.

The pride I feel at all these achievements is un-imaginable.

So when I am asked 'how are you coping?' or someone states 'you've got your hands full I don't know how you cope,' I try not to be irritated by it as I know it is only people caring and comes most of the time from genuine interest and concern.  I however answer.  I don't cope I Live!!

Life is full of challenges for us all, a juggling act where there are at different times different shapes weights and numbers of things that we have to keep in the air.  Occasionally a ball or two is dropped, an appointment missed or a birthday forgotten maybe even the time to have a shower impossible to find! But those are the times that we have to take a deep breath pause for a rest and then pick it all up again.  Maybe recognise the need to pass one or two of the smaller things off to another to throw for a while so we can concentrate on not dropping the big things like making sure the children are safe clean and fed!

I am living not coping,  living life the best way I know how, by loving, laughing, crying, learning and all the other stuff.

Supporting a family I adore by just being there as they say goodbye to parts of their hearts as they buried their Mum and remembering and being grateful for the impact she has had on my own life.

Attending a course to help Max get better at communicating by getting better myself.  Preparing him and probably more to the point myself for preschool next term.  Growing as a parent with Molly as her needs change with the experience of her new school. Desperately trying to cling on to the now, refusing to move on to the next stage with Mia as she is showing all the signs of being ready for solids but just wanting to keep her as she is for as long as possible.

Taking the plunge and booking a holiday in the sun for the five of us for next year recognising that all that juggling might need some solar charging ;-)

Inviting the family to our home to share Mia's first Christmas (my first as host) looking forward to lots of laughter food and merriment.

Learning that advice is just that advice! Whether it comes from a professional or not it is just some one else's opinion and it is there to be followed if I so choose to, remembering to have a little faith in my own judgement.
Asking and accepting help where I can.  Learning that to say 'I need' is not saying 'I can't manage' just that it stretches me that little less if you help.

To say coping is to imply 'putting up with' and that is certainly not what I am doing with my life and family. xxxxx