Wednesday, 15 June 2011

And Mia makes five!

This last pregnancy seemed to last forever,  I now understood what friends had meant when they said their second and subsequent pregnancies were less enjoyable, more of a chore, a means to an end.
In truth it was probably my healthiest and least complicated of pregnancies, once over the initial twelve weeks un-certainty that automatically go along with a history of miscarriage like mine.  I was sick and tired enough to be reassured that I was actually pregnant but not un manageably so, I didn't suffer with SPD as badly as I had previously (although I have to allow a little credit for that to our lovely new mattress and the fact I wasn't stuck behind a desk three days a week) and I didn't get any more then the usual coughs and colds.  It was however hard work!  Keeping up with family life, keeping the house as dog hair and gerbil dropping free as possible. Molly's social and school bits and all Max's appointments not to mention running around after, bending and lifting a solid little eighteen month plus old and daily dog walks.  All pretty full on with out the growing bump which despite however many people telling me on a daily basis how tiny I was.  It was still there and concealing an average size baby and very much physically a hindrance.

Your first pregnancy you almost enjoy all the discomfort, it's all new and wondrous a novelty almost, you are able to give yourself so much more focus and time to try and make things easier.  I think due to the time and heart ache in between my first and second it allowed me to feel all that again second time round.  This last however as I said felt more like a means to an ends and with absolutely no opportunity to slow down or concentrate on just being pregnant.

Please don't misunderstand, every time I felt the movement however uncomfortable I still felt the magic.  Having lost so many in the past I still felt that relief and wonder when my belly did it's alien impersonation.  My favourite time was the evening when the kids were safely tucked up in bed their daily needs having been met, all the dinner clear up and preparation for the next day all done and I could sit or lay and take time to just be pregnant ! 

Towards the end of my pregnancy the usual excitement and eagerness to meet our baby set in, along with a longing to physically be my self again, at the same time there was a tinge of sadness as I was acutely aware that this was probably the last time I would be pregnant and experiencing the magic of growing a new life and I felt guilt at wishing that special time away.

Time ticked on and much to my surprise having been early with both my previous labours I found my self thirty nine plus weeks pregnant ( the most pregnant I had ever been) and booked for an induction on the following Monday.  We decided that weekend much to some of our families concern rather than sit at home waiting and whittling to travel to a family wedding instead, I had a dress and had been looking forward to wearing it and seeing family members
not to mention supporting the bride and groom as they promised to love each other forever.
We took all the necessary, car seat, hospital bag, pregnancy notes etc, just in case!  It was a lovely day, Molly and Max loved seeing all their cousins and the bride looked stunning, it was an invaluable distraction.

Monday came and Simon and I headed off to the hospital leaving my babies with their nanny at home to wait to become a big brother and big sister again. 

I had heard so many horror stories of inductions, the waiting the boredom followed by stronger pains etc that I was more nervous then I remember being either time before.  I was however pleasantly surprised that within ten hours I was in established labour with just the first stage of induction,  managing with out any drugs, certain that at the next examination they would be able to break my waters and as happened twice previously it would all be over soon after.  (having laboured for a day Molly came with in 20 mins of my waters going and Max came 4 hours after my waters went with no previous labour pains)  However every heavily pregnant woman in the local area decided to have their babies there and then and the labour ward decided that they were too busy to promote my labour to progress any quicker so would not be breaking my waters ready or not!!!  I was furious as this meant that I would be in pain for longer which meant I would be more tired when it came down to actually giving birth and then more exhausted to go home to three children!!! 

Was it any wonder that inductions led to more need for drugs / intervention / surgery etc  They start women on a path and then try and tweak the circumstances to suite them!  They also sent Simon away home! So I was left contracting every few minutes on my own convinced that if my waters were to go of their own accord that there would not be time for Simon to get back to me and he would miss the birth! ( I remember threatening the midwife on the ward at this point that if that did happen I would take her name and give it to the baby so when they were old enough she could explain to them why their daddy was there for their brother and sisters birth and not theirs!)
I took the decision at this point to have some pain relief,  I am sure I would not have needed it had they broken my waters as planned but I was acutely aware that I had already been awake since five in the morning and that I could be there a while yet and needed to rest if I was to have any hope of having the strength to give birth naturally.

Luckily enough my waters did not break on their own but my labour progressed quite quickly the pethidine I had didn't touch the pain (although I did feel less aggrieved after having it lol) I tried the usual tricks of birthing balls, baths etc but I was quite quickly begging the midwife for more help, at this stage they did decide to move me to labour ward and I was allowed to call Simon back to me,  While I waited for both Simon and to be moved another lady on the ward who was there for problems in her pregnancy came and sat with me and saw me through a very lonely scary half hour,  I didn't get her name but I will never forget her kindness and will always be grateful for her company in that time.  I did see her the next day when fetching my dinner on the ward and was able to thank her I am pleased to say.

Anyway time blurs here but Simon arrived and I was moved to the room where I was to have my baby,  there was gas and air hooray and although again it didn't take any pain away it did help me cope with it and relax a little!  The midwife looking after me then broke my waters and bang at 4:25am 31st May 2011 Mia Rose Elliment was here ( I was right about how quickly after waters) !!!!!!
A head full of dark hair just like her sister when she was born but that was all that was similar, she had a completely different look about her then the other two, So tiny, so perfect and I felt so complete.  That rush of love and protectiveness is almost addictive.  She came straight up onto my chest and I just adored her, I let the midwives get on with whatever they needed to and just gazed and wrapped my baby up in my love.  In those moments I was acutely aware of how lucky I am, how much I loved not only my baby in my arms but my two babies at home, and Simon, Simon who has given me everything I've ever wanted it's like I've loved him a truck load more with every birth.
After a while and as I came down from that initial rush I did have a moment of guilt and shed a tear or two as I started to examine her, Simon said it was only natural and that I shouldn't feel badly but I think I always will I cried as I checked the palms of her hands, the space between her toes, her eyes, the size of her ears!  I was looking for features of Down's Syndrome not because it would have mattered  if they were there but because I needed to know to deal with it as soon as possible if necessary.
There were none, she is not like her big brother in that way. Just as perfect as him and their older sister.  Her challenges are going to come from some other direction. :-).

We woke Molly with an early morning phone call to tell her she was a big sister again.  Her sleepy excitement was infectious.  Both Nanny's and Uncle Paul were woken too but I don't think any of them minded :-)

We couldn't get over how different to the other two she looked, this had taken us both by surprise, Simon said to me "she looks like someone but I can't put a finger on who"  .
We had some time to ourselves while waiting to be taken up to the ward and I had a shower as I was doing that I think Simon was spending some time staring in awe at his newest daughter, taking pictures.
He then came to me in the en-suite eyes swollen with tears holding his phone.  At first I panicked but he quickly said "my brother's nailed it". when I asked what he really broke down as he read his brothers message, a response to a picture Simon had sent.  " she looks like Dad first thing in the morning before he put his glasses on" That's who she had reminded Simon with out him realising and as with the births of all his Grandchildren there was a moment of sadness that he never got to see them and that neither of his Grandsons or Grandaughters will ever know their Grandad Pete.

There was a day or so in hospital for some precautionary monitoring due to blood types (all is well) So Molly and Max first met their Sister on the ward later that day.
My heart grew again having all three of my children together.  That feeling of completeness hasn't left me yet.  It was only beaten the next night when I was in my own home Molly and Max asleep in their beds and Mia beside me in her moses basket. 

Two weeks on and we're all settling in to being a family of five,  Mia has slotted in perfectly it's as if she has always been here.  Max is adorable with her although you never know when that gentle stroke is going to turn into a heavier pat or a grab to squeeeeeeeze and love ha ha.  Molly is smitten with her little sister, cooing and ahhhing over every little movement and outfit.  The two of them seem closer too, as they are both in the same position now with some one else stealing a bit of Mummy's attention.

Simon has been wonderful, recognising my needs for things to be organised and done a certain way and just being the most generous supportive I've ever known him.  I am so lucky to have some one who is just bottom line my other half, we are a team and at the moment I don't think there is a championship we wouldn't win.xxxxxxxxxxx

I am the luckiest Mummy in the world but yes I am done NO I do not think an even number is necerssary lol xx

Mia completes my perfect little family in a way I only dreamed.